Christopher

Christopher is my oldest baby. 

He is now eight years old. I can't believe it! 

He loves all things science - especially chemistry and anatomy.

He loves Jesus with his whole heart. I will never forget being told by the

child care workers at the gym that at 3 yrs old he had  gathered

all the other children up and was telling them about Jesus!

My dad took this picture to send to Gerber when he was about 9 months old.

Christopher is gorgeous, obviously, and he was my first child and my parents

first grandchild so we all thought he was amazing and the it was a crime 

not to share him with the world.

One thing you should know about this boy. 

He is, first and foremost, a big brother. And he loves it!

He takes his job very serious!

This was the moment he first met his first sibling, Samantha.

And here he is delighting in his brother.

The second thing I should tell you about Christopher 

is that he only has two speeds - stop and fast.

He does everything big - loves big, plays big, laughs big!

Anyway, I figured if I was going to be talking about him I might as well introduce him.

Meet my son Christopher.

You have how many kids?!

I once heard Dr. Voddie Baucham say that "a fruitful vine" is not the attitude in America. It's more like "a boy for me and a girl for you and praise the Lord we're finally through." He went on to say that even in the church it like if you are pregnant with baby #4 or 5 or 6 people start having prayer meetings for you. "Oh God,
please deliver her from this oppression."

Within the past week or so I have been honored with three people making comments to me about how many kids I have and basically that I need to be done now (with a certain inference that I should've been done before this pregnancy).

My children are 8, 6, and 2 years old. I hate the terrible two's. Ok, not really. I loge watching them learn and hearing the sudden explosion in vocabulary. Bu the messes and declarations of self-will - I am pretty tired of that. With that said, I love having kids and I personally enjoy the nay-sayers. I also feel a little sad for them. I'm not suggesting that everyone have four children (although I'd be tickled pink if my brother and sister did because I love being an aunt). But it is sad to think that the joy of four children can actually baffle people. I just have to wonder what their parenting experience is. Is the blessing of a home filled with laughter really that inconceivable to them?! How can that be?!

Whenever someone else gets pregnant in my MOPS group there are always a few ladies that comment that they are sooo glad it is not them. And each time I hear a comment like that I wonder if I will ever feel that way. We are pretty much out of room here - six people in 1000 sq ft and a rainy climate. Also, I am not exactly a spring chicken anymore. But with my fourth on the way I can honestly envision a time where I am going to be sad that I am done having children - a kind of longing for something I can't have. How can some people find having four kids so unimaginable and I find only have four kids a little sad?!

Anyway, I am blessed. I am blessed and I am gratef and I love all of my blessings - including the one in bedwho is going to wake me before dawn tomorrow, the one who is wiggling next to me right now, the one who has been having a major attitude problem lately, and the one fluttering in my tummy.

Now or Later?

Week 17!
Can you believe we are in week 17 already? I feel a little flutter in my tummy.I can't wait until I am feeling big kicks! My favorite part of pregnancy is feeling y baby moving around inside.


We already have three children in our family. My oldest sone is eight years old. My daughter recently turned six years old. The family baby is our youngest son who is two years old.

When I was pregnant with my oldest I honestly has no preference or opinion regarding gender so we waited until delivery to find out his gender. And we even had a couple of ultrasounds where my hubby and I had to look away to keep the baby's gender a surprise.

We found out that my daughter was a girl more or less as a gift to my grandpa.

Because the kids were five and three when I was pregnant with number three we found out the gender to help make it real to them and get them used to the idea.

This time around our youngest is so little that he isn't going to understand until it is almost here. And the other two are so old that they both know what is going on.

So, should we find out the baby's gender? What are your thoughts?

I do have to say that my daughter would really like a girl so my only debate is if advance notice that she is getting a brother would be best or would it be better to wait until she can see her adorable baby brother and hold him to find out that he has an outie not an innie. (Anytime she would find out it's a girl would be a great time.)

So, what do you think?

Praise Be To Elohim

Last night I barely slept. I think my sleep could best be described as extended blinks between prayers. That's all I did - prayed with family, prayed with friends, and then once the rest of the world went to sleep I prayed with my Lord - over, and over, and over!

Scared doesn't accurately convey the emotion that consumed me. It was a combination of sheer terror, anamzing hope, and deep-rooted faith. There I laid I'm the still of the night swaddled in this cocoon of prayer. Just Christ, my child, and me.

The "vampire" arrived before morning light and made of the first collection of data in the form of a vial of my blood. Shortly after I heard my mama rumbling around on the ultra luxurious ( hee hee) bed that appeared as if from no where (ok,it is possible that the bed may have been a transformation of the decorator couch in the corner of my room - hee hee!). Next up, the lady with the magic wand.

Next to the handsome grandpa with the plaid hat, the lovely Linda with the magic wand is my favor ite person today! She has a magic wand that let's her see into my uterus buried deep within my body and saw my baby. It was a little bit of fizziness inside a dark circle within a white circle. I know, really doesn't sound too impressive. But let me tell you - that little bundle of unimpressiveness was an answer to a thousand prayers. It was a sign that I did indeed have a normally developing in uterine pregnancy!

Enters my second favorite person of the day - the cutest grandpa ever with his plaid hat on his hand as he informed me that he was discharging me as all tests indicate that I have a healthy pregnancy that is developing just as they'd expect. So, the sun is down again now and I am in bed. But now I lay in my own bed snuggled with my youngest son as he sleeps, soaking in the sounds of his little baby breathing, while smiling at the giggles I hear from my oldest son who is clearly watching something funny on the tv with his daddy.

My heart is peaceful, my womb is blissfully occupied, and I thank my friends for their prayer with each breath and I praise God with each beat of my heart!

Oh, and what happened to the ectopic pregnancy only uterus that they almost opened me up to remove. Well, apparently it is a small blood clot that should dissipate on it's own.

Buying Time & Trusting in God

One thing to know about me - if something can be unusual or unlikely then that's what I've got.

So I woke today with terrible sharp pain in my left pelvic area. Finally gave in & called 911 since I was he alone w/ 3 kids & literally couldn't get off the floor.

Paramedic had same suspicion as I feared - ectopic pregnancy. So off to the hospital we went. (In case you are wondering, my bestie, Miss Terra, came to be with the kids.)

After 3 ultrasounds and various other tests this is where we are:

There is a fluid filled sacim my uterus that measures exactly the size you'd expect for the gestational sac for as far along as I am. However, it lacks the yolk inner lining one would expect to see. There is something on my right ovary that looks just like the one in my uterus. Dr doesn't know if it is a burst cyst or a
an ectopic pregnancy. Oh, and I have some blood pooled inside my abdomen.
in my abdominal cavity.

So, my options are:

1. Have surgery. If it is an ectopic pregnancy theyremove it. If it is a cyst they likely remove it. The downside is - a) if I do have a viable pregnancy anesthesia could be dangerous to embryo and the cyst they would have just removed is actually needed to sustain a pregnancy during the first trimester.

2. Wait two days. On Sunday redo ultrasound and blood tests. Hopefully we will get more info then. Hopefully a heartbeat will be visable - then location of pregnancy will be obvious. Risk is if it is ectopic and bursts.

So what did we decide - we are doing what dr said he'd have his wife do - we are waiting until tomorrow, rerun tests and see if anymore info is available and then we will reassess.

Truthfully, I am buying time to pray & for my loved ones to pray. I am hoping that after a day of prayer that a miracle will happen and we will find that I have a viable pregnancy in my uterus and that my cyst has stopped bleeding and does not require surgery.

"Please God, please heal my body and save this pregnancy. This baby may not have been planned, but she is wanted as much as any baby was ever wanted. She already has a family who loves her & a wonderful circle of family & friends who want her to be in their lives.

God, please , please, please save my pregnancy! Save my baby! I love this child, God, please keep her safe and show us all a miracle in the tests tomorrow! In Jesus's precious name I pray, amen."
So, my options are:
1. Have surgery now to remove whatever is on my ovary. Which would be a "no duh" if it is

Eventful Morning

I write this from my ER bed, waiting to hear if this quiver got tired on it's way to my uterus and settled into my Fallopian tube instead.

I was delighted to hear I was pregnant last week - though concerns ran through my mind like being so very overweight at the beginning of this pregnancy, not having room for any more people in our tiny home, that kind of thing. Funny how quickly that kind of thing doesn't matter. Also amazing how quickly I fell in love with something the size of a poppy seed! I don't know if I knew how much I already loved this baby until I felt like it was threatened.

Seriously?!

A funny thing happened to me on the way to a friend's house...

I am a SAHM homeschooling mommy of three. Or so I thought

But,this month I was late. Then I was 2 days late. Then 3? Could that be right?! After checking the calendar AGAIN. Yep, 3 days. Ok, well if I don't start by the time hubby is headed home from work. No. I don't want to spend $10+ for nothing. Ok, if I don't start by tomorrow I will go get a pregnancy test.

Tomorrow came and off the kids & I went to the store in town to get some milk and apparently a pregnancy test. But I'll go to the restroom when I get there, just to check one last time.

So we get our things & check out with only $.23 left im change. I had plans to go visit a friend. On the way to T's house I was sure myperiod had started. Which was I was trying to avoid - spending the money when I didn't need to if I were patient.

When we arrived at T's house I used her bathroom. Surprisingly I did not find myself in need of a tampon. The test was in the diaper bag I had with me I figured I might as well do it.

"Ah, Terra, I need you for a moment."
"oh no! Is the toilet plugged?"
With a shaky voice I just repeated my request.

She followed me into the bathroom. "Do you see what I see," I asked her.
After taking pause to realize what was happening in that moment she confirmed it - that was one heck of a dark pink plus sign staring back at us.

I don't remember too much after that other than occasionally interrupting our conversation to check the test again.

So, there you have it ladies & gentlemen - I am pregnant!

And still in a bit of shock even though this all happened days ago.

So I thought I would start this blog and record my experiences over the next eight months - regarding not just my pregnancy but all areas of my life.

I do caution you - I am gong to give it to you straight. I will